What do you say to your attacker?
How do you say hello to the person who took your innocence?
How do you smile and exchange pleasantries with them?
“Oh hi! Come on in, I baked cookies!” Really?
Dreading this ever happening,
You’ve managed to stay in the shadows
All these years, you’ve tried to hide
If I’m off radar, he won’t find me
Then he’ll never hurt me again
But when the night comes,
You relive those memories
You remember the scathing details
“Night terrors” they call them
So, how far away can you hide?
Where do you run when he shows up?
On your doorstep, no less
How do you want to pretend?
“Hello! My name is ….”
When you know he knows you
When he sees you and he’s taken aback
When you see recognition in those eyes
How can you pretend you’re alright?
Do you know how to act civil,
When inside you feel like lurching at him?
Do you know how to smile and shake hands?
Scratch that…… No handshaking
Since he’s staring at you and gasping
How do you become the bigger, better person?
And say ” if you don’t leave my doorstep….”
How do you refrain from slamming the door
Slamming the door in his face
When he asks if you can talk for a minute?
How do you get that sense of safe
Enough to lead him inside?
How do you react when the moment he steps inside
He crumbles and breaks into nerve-wrecking sobs?
How do you stay when all he keeps repeating is ” I’m so sorry”
How do you feel when he tells you he’s been searching?
Looking for you everywhere he could
Just to let you know how sorry he was
How do you listen when he explains how he’s changed?
“Everything I ever did to you is what I’ll regret till the day I die”
How do you let God lead you?
How do you let God give you strength?
Strength to reach out to him
How do you accept God’s love and forgiveness?
Above all, how do you hold him and whisper