In the longing 

My body’s tired
My soul hurts
My spirit is worn

Healthy days seem to me
Like a shadow of the past
Maybe I imagined them
I barely know what that means

You’re a fighter
Everyone says
Some days I believe them
Other days when I crawl
I don’t

Mingled with my soul
I can’t differentiate
Hurt wakes me up
Pain lays me down

Brave front
When I’m a scared little girl
Somedays there are cracks
Wee cracks that let you see
The shadow of a broken me

I’m well acquainted with hurt
With pain and suffering
Why can’t I be normal?
On down nights
No one can hear me weep

In Jesus, my hope is found
How many nights have I cried?
Lord heal me now!
Right now!
I can’t take it

But he doesn’t
Not just yet anyway
I used to think a lot
Maybe my faith wasn’t strong
Maybe I doubted too much

I realize now
That it might not be for me yet
Battered souls don’t have much
Tear streaked faces can’t fight
But a broken heart, he is near

Just when I feel empty
Lost, disoriented, uncertain
He’s still here,
Calming me, soothing me
All the way

2 responses to “In the longing 

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